Tim,
With everything that’s going on around here, I find you in my thoughts more and more. I watch M.A.S.H just about everyday. I think of Hawkeye and BJ as you and me. You know how tight they were and how they played jokes on one an another, its a lot like we were. Just got through watching the final episode - again. Then it hit me right at the end, as Hawkeye was getting into the chopper and BJ, was getting on his bike, they got to do something, that I was unable to do with and for you. That was to say “Goodbye”. Yes, I was there for your funeral and all that, but I didn’t get to say Goodbye. That still bugs the hell out of me. Well, I had a good cry - yet again. Thank you very much. You Asshole!
Well, tomorrow I am having the BBQ to tell everyone we are going to Oregon. Going to be an interesting next few days as the word spreads. We are really excited about coming back to Bend. One of the first things, we are going to do once we get there, besides unload the truck - you couldn’t get me on that one - we are going to go see you. I am so looking forward to that, I hope to be able to spend some time with you. Maybe that will help me with your passing too. I don’t know. But we will see.
I need you to do me a favor if you can. Assuming you have gotten through processing, and you haven’t pissed off the big G. As you know, we are leaving in the 12th of Nov, I will have planned out as much as I can, but I need to watch over us, and help us make to Bend without any problems. If you could give us a hand with that, making sure we make it safe and sound, I would really appreciate it.

Hey, I saw your favorite character the other day at the car show. Gonna try and find him somewhere are put him out in your back yard.

I can here you in the back of my mind, saying move on dude. I know I know! Face it, I love you man, and it’s hard not having you around. You are my best friend, and without you I am a little lost. I am still working hard, probably to hard, but what else is new. You have a lot of people that love, and just because you are not hear, doesn’t make us love you less. It’s just harder not having you around.

Since I am letting the cat out of the back Saturday, I can talk more freely with you know. I know you know what I am saying when I am being cryptic.

I love you man and miss you terribly.

Kiss the dog, spank someone, would say God, but I am not sure that’s a good idea.

Love,
Rusty

Hey Dude,
WTF! Dude, you never call anymore. What’s up with that.?!

I am missing the hell out of our talks. Been really needing to talk with you lately. As you know, there has been a lot of stuff on my mind. For years, I have bounced ideas and what not off you, for your valuable input. I don’t have that anymore, and it is driving me nuts. Gonna have to try and figure something else out I guess.

I am missing you lots.

You know, logically, I have a good idea about what the future holds for Laurie and I, but I am still scared to death. Ultimately, I think the upcoming changes will be good for us, but it is still scary as hell. Hell, I even thought about buying a game I saw on TV the other day. I thought, that would be way cool to play with Tim. But nooo, someone has decided that he would rather play with the Big Guy in the sky instead. Friggin - Butt Munch!!

Just wanted to stop in an say Hey dude!

Any advice you could send this way? I’m listening, I think.

Love ya Dude.

Rusty

Yo Dude!!!

I try to bury myself in work, so it doesn’t hurt so much. It has helped, at least to take my mind of you for short while. But, it seems, you always find yourself in my thoughts.

Everywhere i turn, I see things that remind me of you. No to mention, all the things you told me after your passing. Ya, you got your way. You know what I mean.

Was just thinking about you again, and wanted to say Hey. I love you bro.

“Spank the wife and Kiss the Dog”

Will talk more tomorrow, getting hard to see, been in front of this damn computer to long today.

Say Hi to Zeke for me.

Love,

Rusty

You always had incredible energy mon ami!

Alrighty then - Since Internet Explorer is having issues with the other video, I re-did the video in Windows Media Player. Internet Explorer can now view the video  properly.

To view the video in Full Screen mode - Just click the Play button, then put your mouse on the actual video, then Double click. When done watching the video, click the ESC key on your keyboard.

Tim,

It has been a month since we talked. I can’t call you on the phone anymore, so we can talk about whatever. I don’t know if you can here me in my thoughts, maybe you can read this if you can’t here my thoughts.

I miss you terribly. I am driving myself crazy, wanting to pick up the phone and calling you, then realizing, you are not there to pick up the phone. I am still having a hard time with this. I don’t think I have come to terms with your passing. Don’t know if I ever will. I have talked to your Mom on the phone a few times, as nice as that is, it’ still not you.

As tough as it was to see you, in that room, for the first time, since you left Vegas. I would not have missed it for the world. You of all people, should have known, that once I made up my mind to do something, not even you could stop me, especially with something that was so important to me.  Though you tried to keep me in the dark as to what was really happening with you, cause you knew, I would come up and see you, and you knew I had some things going on here, and my absence from it, would not have been the best move. Even, to the extent, through some way, you tried to keep me from getting there when I was on my way to see you. Could have been circumstance or maybe you didn’t want me to see what the last 4 months really did to you. Yes, it was bit shocking. But you know… I love you Man.. and no matter what physical appearance you took would have only strengthened my resolve to help you. Maybe you only wanted to hear my voice on the other end of the phone, to talk in the way we always talked, you know the way we always made each other smile and laugh. I love those times too. I will miss those times for a long time to come.

If you had anything to do with it - Thank you for allowing me to be one of your paulbearers and to speak at your memorial. I was honered to be a part of that. You know, it was cool to finally meet all those people, your fiends and family,  I have heard so much about. You know what was just as cool?….. hearing stories from your Mom and Dad, about things that you and I did together over the years. Take the drag races for instance. I had no idea how important that was to you, and how much fun you had. Even in the “friggin Hot” Las Vegas heat. I had a great time too. You know, when you stayed here with me, I loved you being here. You helped me have fun. We played games, we went and did things, or just stayed home and watched tv. I really liked all those times, sitting on the swing, just chillen, and talking about our fears, desires, or what have you. You could see it tore me up each time you had to leave and go home.  I didn’t want you to leave. Deep down, I felt I would never see you again.

I get the sense you are trying to tell me something - there is this recurring thought that keeps running through my head. I could here the excitement in your voice when I told you , Laurie and I were thinking of moving up that way again. We are still thinking about it, and most likely we will. Just don’t know when yet.

Tim - I miss you.

Love

Rusty

I’ll write more later.

Special Thanks to Chloe for getting the images to create this Video.

To see the video Full Screen, click on the Square Box to the right of the player controls.

Right now, you need to use FireFox to view this video. Intenret Explorer is being a pain right now.

Tim’s Eulogy

I have known Tim for about 12 years. In those years we became very close friends. He was my Best Friend, he was in my wedding, he was a confidant, and a great person to bounce ideas off of.

Tim was one of those rare individuals, who you meet through life, that you just say – Wow, That’s a great guy. He was one of those people who would give you the shirt off his back. All you had to do was ask.

Tim and I worked together over the years on various projects, so not only were we close friends, we also were colleagues. When I would call Tim, and say, “Hey, I have this new project or Have this going on, what do you think?” His famous last words to me were “I’ve got your 6 brother.” When I heard those words, it always made me feel at ease.

I have to take this time to Thank - Lynn and Lynelle for bringing Tim into this world. You raised one hell of a great Man. If it weren’t for you, I would never have met him, and grown to love him the way I do. Thank you.

Tim has gone to Heaven where he will see Zeke again. Imagine the welcoming home he will get from Zeke, his companion of 14 plus years. In a dream, that my wife Laurie had, she said Tim came to visit her, and told her he was playing ball with Zeke and Reddi, my dog who passed last December. He is going to keep an eye on her for me.

Although Tim has left this Earth, he has not left our hearts. He will always hold a very special place in our hearts. Tim, you have touched everyone’s heart that you came in contact with. I know that you touched me and my family’s heart in ways you will never know. You became a part of our family and lives. When you laughed, we laughed. When you hurt, we hurt.

You have found peace, but I am still in pain over your passing. As with your family and other friends, my pain runs deep, and it will only lessen with the passage of time. You have been called home, so you are no longer in pain, you are no longer fearful of the night; you are now in Gods hands.

We will miss your laughter and your antics for a long time to come. There is a hole in our hearts that your presence once filled. Although, we hurt now, we must remember all the fun, joy and pleasure we shared with you.

Over the years that Tim and I knew each other, we worked together, played together, cried together, and, of course, got into trouble together. I will cherish all of those times we spent together, even when we could not be there in person. Now that you have gone to be in Gods hands, I have only one last thing to say to you, Tim.

I’ve got your 6 brother!